Did I eat all my lima beans?

So there I am at a work-related dinner banquet. All you can eat buffet, prime rib, pasta, potatoes and the western Pennsylvania favorite - pork tenderloin and sauerkraut. If I wasn't in the middle of this, yeah, I would have devoured two-pounds of the prime rib.

My surgeon's office allows 2 cups of raw vegetables a day if I choose, "to make it more enjoyable." I haven't had any yet as I don't believe they really would have made a difference, let's face it, this 2 weeks on all liquids is meant to be endured - not tolerated and certainly not enjoyed.

But, at a head table, skipping the meal was not a choice. But I prepared for this, I was ready. I took three rigatoni noodles, one slice of pork and lots of kraut and two tongs of lettuce and cucumbers - no dressing. At my seat, I jumped back and forth from nursing on a lettuce leaf, moving a noodle around my plate to spread the sauce around to appear the serving was much larger and cutting the pork into tiny pieces and hiding them in the mound of kraut. No one seemed to notice.

That is, until one of the caterers came around to clear tables. She took my plate, began to turn around. But apparently I wasn't as slick as I thought. She turned around again and asked "Was everything okay?"

I wanted to say "thanks lady, it was bad enough I had to sit here and watch everyone eat all night, and bad enough that I had to feel every fiber of meat on my knife and fork, but do you have to call me out?" But, I suppose I should be happy that she cared enough about her work to make certain that nothing was wrong. How many people does she deal with that have been consuming nothing but protein shakes, broth and jello for five days? So I said what I should. I looked puzzled as to why she would be asking and said "Everything was fantastic, thank you. I just took too much, my eyes were larger then my belly."

I'm only a few days from attending my last meeting and I really hope putting myself on the pre-surgery diet early pays off.

Have a good week everyone.

A big apology to LDswims

LDswims has also nominated me for a Beautiful Blogger Award and I owe her a big apology for not catching that before posting a few days ago. What is most silly about it is that she and I are both on pre-surgery diets and could probably swap many stories. Her last blog describes the pain and anguish of running into a package of Thin-Mints. I've put a few of those away I assure you.

Admittedly, I am struggling to find the time to post new info and read up on everyone's blogs. On top of which, I still do not have all the ins and outs of making certain that I am a follower on everyone's blog who is listed as a follower of mine. No offense intended.

And to think, my high school guidance counselor questioned what my contribution to society will be.

Tessie and TracyZ have nominated me for a Beautiful Blogger Award. I'm flattered, thanks guys.

Now, I am supposed to:

• Thank the person who nominated you for this award.
• Copy the award and place it in your blog.
• Link the person who nominated you for this award.
• Tell us 7 interesting things about you.
• Nominate 7 bloggers.
• Post the links to the 7 bloggers you nominate.

Seven interesting things about me-

1) I have a talent that is somewhat counter productive to weight loss but fun nonetheless. Because movies and food are probably my most favorite ways to spend free time, I've developed an ability to pair the best food with any movie. For instance, using some of my favorite movies Tommy Boy = Fettucine alfredo with shrimp and chicken. South Park Bigger, Larger and Uncut = Chinese food. The Breakfast Club = Sausage Hoagie with peppers and onions. Rocky = chicken wings.

2) I lost both of my parents (mother had breast cancer, father had an anuerism) before I turned 25. That which doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger.

3) Despite conventional thought, I love discussing politics and religion. If these topics frighten you, your core beliefs on these topics are not yet strong enough to be tested.

4) I drive a mini-van. Though I don't feel like less of a man because of my vehicle, I do sometimes consider how I would look in a house dress. They look so comfortable.

5) If I could change the course of life I would be performing stand-up comedy. I have no regrets, I love my life and am very fulfilled. I just enjoy comedy.

6) I'm horrible at ping pong, but can play a decent game of tennis for a Fat Bastard.

7) I cry at the end of most movies.

I'm sorry everyone, I simply cannot choose seven bloggers. See those head shots to the right? They are my banded blog friends and I have a hard time ranking them. Sorry.

Muscle Milk Light - Mmmmnn!

Things are on the move. While handling my work calendar I realized that the first week of March was next week. For some reason, it felt two weeks away. That 28 days of February thing, I guess. But, my second of two mandatory post-operative support meetings is on Wednesday. So, Thursday morning (a week from today) I will call my surgeeon's office to make a pre-op appointment and get a date for surgery.

Something they said before, when I transferred hospitals, stuck in my mind. "Because the doctor just arrived here from his last hospital, his schedule will be really open for a few months."

So, translation - if I start my liquid diet now, that will be one less hold up. This may lead to me being on all liquids an extra few days, but what is the harm in that? Maybe the surgery can actually occur within the next two weeks.

So, it's back to the blender for me. I actually started yesterday and so far, it feels better than it did last time. The dull to sharp belly pains are there, no doubt. But mixed with my personal promise to not be too grumpy at home or allow the energy loss hurt me at work, my positive outlook is lifting me past the physical distress. Agghh, that sounds like some self help babble in a cheesy How to Fix Yoursel and Love Yourself book, huh?

I have been reading everyone's blog and wish to offer a thanks to those who nominated me as a Beautiful Blogger. I hope put the finishing touches on that entry tonight.

The smallest principles are just as important.

In most cases, when I'm telling the story or reading it, I like the small details. Don't tell me you bought a new car, tell me what the leather smells like, what was important about the first song you listened to on the stereo, etc.

But for now, the small details are not as important. Put simply, this past week has been over-scheduled and stressful. We've all had those weeks when family, work and personal obligations meet in one giant crap storm.

So, in the past week, I've forgotten to drink my water a few times. Time didn't allow for double checking that I packed my vegetables for work. I've slept less, exercised less and blogged less.

I'm not a different person than the Fat Bastard of old. My personality will not change. Weight loss surgery or not, psychological flaws corrected or not, I will always be me. And if this is going to work, weeks like this must be endured and can not be the gateway to a two-year bender of fried chicken and nachos. May the endurance begin.

Another technical question

I have come across a few of my new friends that when I click on their picture, on their profile there is a list of sites they have joined but it does not list their own blog site. Am I to assume that they are followers of my site but do not have a blog of their own or is there something I am missing? Anyone got any info on this?

Couch to 5K

I don't recall which bandster's blog led me to the Couch to 5K website, but I wanted to share it with everyone. I am on my third week and have been enjoying it so far. I have my eye on a 5K race in the end of May. If all goes well and my surgery is sometime in mid-March, hopefully the Doc will agree it is a good idea.

As this Florida boy hates the snow, I have been using a treadmill at the YMCA. The current blizzard and recent 15 inches of snow kept me from the Y today, but I'll be there tomorrow.

Also, check out Big Daddy the author was just banded.It is good to have another man in blog land. Not that I am not enjoying blogging with my new female friends, I don't get why so many men don't utilize this kind of support.

More thoughts on the fueling of bad decisions

Thank you to Gen, I have a little more insight to add to the whole Group A vs. Group B discussion (last post).

Gen pointed out that there may be certain factors that fuel bad decision making by those of us that are fully aware of what a healthy lifestyle consists of but have little success in living that lifestyle consistently. She said that the choice is not so "simple" and went on to compare the addiction of food to the addiction of alcohol.

I agree.

See, decisions are very simple. Every person that may have answered a really important text while driving or stayed up an hour later than they should have because their favorite TV show is on a season finale, has grappled with doing something they know is probably a bad idea, but did it anyway.

Now that is not to over-simplify what fuels that decision, which is why what Gen said is important. The decision to over-consume is quite a simple one, fueled by some very complex issues that differ from person to person.

While working as a reporter for a tiny newspaper, I had a sit down with a psychologist that hosted free support meetings for people who have a loved one grappling with addiction to drugs and alcohol. We discussed the nature of addiction and I made the reference of comparing food addiction to heroin.

He looked at me, dead in the eye, and said "The two have nothing in common." Walking out of the meeting, for a minute, I felt stupid. I am fully aware that the chemical addiction a heroin addict feels is non-comparable. If I go 24 hours without a hit of alfredo sauce, I am not going to begin sweating and shaking.

But on the other hand - it is much more "simple." Not a more simple problem to resolve, but a more simple problem to understand. There is no moderational use of cocaine. I won't feel like I deserve a hit of crystal-meth because I ran a 5K earlier that day. You either use illegal drugs or you do not.

But, food is a different issue all together. A serving of most pastas are okay with the right sauce and that the serving is a small side to a protein packed entree. 2 oz of cheese is the right serving for your turkey pita. But too much of either of these and you could be on a dangerous road. To me, one of the most enjoyable foods with almost no nutritional value, chicken wings with bleu cheese, would be an okay twice a year indulgence if paired with a major event like running the aforementioned 5K. Ask a recovering alcohol addict what a twice year bottle of rum would do?

So, are the addictions similar? Probably not. In the end, I am sure us Fat Bastards have it a lot better off.

Really, everyone, I'm not that charming, so don't flatter me so much.

Holy cow, I have 28 new friends. The last time I made 28 friends so quickly, I was in a bar, raising shots of Jagermeister and insisting that everyone in the building were the newest members of my newly formed religious organization . . . a non-moderational temple preaching the indulgence of sauasage pizza, chicken wings and Mojitos. The church's political lobby would begin discussions with the surgeon general to re-define the four food groups as caffeine, nicotine, fats and alcohol.

Those friends didn't last and my days standing at that pulpit are over.

So, welcome, my new 28 friends, I'm flattered that you are here. Kathi (www.kayvee-dontlookback.blogspot.com) answered my last post with an awesome way to "follow" blogs and get alerts on my dashboard when there are new posts on my friends' sites. A few people, offered insight to the my technical question and all are appreciated and do work.

Regarding my surgery situation, last night I attended my first of two post-op support meetings that my insurance company wants me to attend in order to cover my surgery. It was sort of a reality check for me. (remember from my openner, the term Fat Bastard is a non-offensive, humorous way to discuss anyone who has struggled with weight) I am starting to develop a theory that Fat Bastards can be split into two groups.

Group A, of which I am a part, knows the dos and don'ts of healthy living. We know to exercise four to five times a week, to avoid foods high in fat and sugar and choose a daily caloric intake based on factors of age, health, gender and lifestyle. We know this, we simply choose not to.

People in Group B simply don't have a knowledge of that healthy lifestyle. Honestly, I am not intending to be judgemental. I used to believe that information taught in schools, with the food pyramid in elementary school to the discussion of metabolism in high school health classes, was common knowledge. But as I sat in this meeting last night, listening to questions, this became apparent to me. One woman seemed shocked at the idea that there was a direct relationship between calories burned and calories consumed and that relationship will ultimately impact weight loss or gain.

In the end, I hope that this new knowledge for Group Bs becomes the beginning of a new life. For myself and the other Group As, we have a completely different issue. Why, in the name of Sausagito (the name of the God of my non-moderational church), do the Group As know exactly the right thing to do but fail to make the proper choice?

I plan to spend sometime this weekend catching up on everyone's blogs, see everyone soon.