Saturday, January 16, 2010

On Hold

Yeah, it happened.

My doctor was in surgery most of the day yesterday and when he was out he could not get a hold of anyone at the insurance company. He hopes to speak with them Monday or Tuesday, depending on that call, the surgery could be the next possible date or may have to wait until I attend two post op support meetings.

Yes, I was most definitely disappointed. I think what sucked the most was working throughout the afternoon yesterday, watching the clock and my cell phone. I knew that the closer 4 pm came and my phone did not ring, the least possible I was going for the install on Monday.

My doctor took me off the protein shakes. He explained that by now, what needed to happen to my liver has happened and so eating low fat foods in sensible qualities and I will be okay, even if the surgery were next Wednesday or Friday. I'm sure I'll still have to be on clear liquids the day before, I think that is pretty standard.

There is a positive side. I have seen one of my strongest overeating triggers in its rawest forms. See, I was in a situation that I couldn't control. I wanted it, I needed it and I crossed every bridge that I had to in order to get it. But now, I can't control it. So, there I was, told to get off protein shakes and what did I want? Well, if I couldn't have my surgery, I wanted a dozen hot wings and a Philly steak hoagie. That, I could control. But yes, reason kicked in, and, you know, for a minute I contemplated staying on the shakes. It would have been safe, but over compensating. The equivalent to mail order nutrisystem or the "you name it diet system." Deemed for failure. In the end, regardless of what I would have consumed last night, I still am not in control over this aspect of my surgery, no matter how frustrating that is.

So what did I eat, I took my sons and my father in law to a local restaurant, had a grilled chicken breast, a ton of vegetables and a cup the best veggie chili I have ever eaten. I actually brought a cup home for a snack this weekend.

Funny, if the core of my insurance issue is post op support, I would love to share the above with the insurance company.

Thank you everyone for your comments, they are of great comfort. I hope everyone has a great weekend.


  1. Hi there. I'm Zara and I found you through Sunkist Amy's blog. I just had my surgery on Tuesday and I have to say that even with the tightness, the heartburn and the low-grade pain that I've been muddling through, I am still sitting here with tears in my eyes for you.

    Personally, I am so (may I swear on your blog? LOL) effing sick of insurance company BS. Now, I am a very fortunate soul. I am the girl that everyone glared at in the pre-op class when the nurse called me out as being the "radio station girl."

    I got lucky. After years of going to the doctors for routine physical whatnots and having them constantly send me in for blood panels (I have ranged between 200-280 pounds over the last decade+, only getting down to 200 after months of torture with Atkins diet deprivation) because they wanted to attribute my weight to a thyroid problem, check my cholesterol, see if I had diabetes... only to turn me down for dietitian services when they found out that there was nothing "medically wrong" with me. I don't have any of those problems, so rather than help me with some "preventative care" they chose to make sure that I was blocked from assistance until I was sick from my weight.

    So I researched and set my heart on Lap-Band surgery and went to some classes to figure out how much it would cost out of pocket. I was depressed to find out that it ranged up to 16K (if I wanted it done right by one of the best MDs in my area). Since I have major dental issues outstanding from a eating disorder in high school, I just figured I would stay fat until I could get my teeth problems paid for, since the majority of those weren't covered by my dental insurance either.

    I won the surgery as the local MD with the big reputation decided to give out 2 surgeries through a couple of sister radio stations. I got an email from being on the station's email list, filled it out not thinking too much about it, ended up being selected as the station's choice of Top 20 contestants and after all the tests at the doctor's office was narrowed down to his Top 5 best surgical candidate picks.

    I went nuts with promoting myself, used my online connections and won the surgery. It's all been a bizarre dream. Now I'm sitting here at the desk with it in me, scared and nervous about my road ahead. And really, really sad/conflicted about being the person who won. I guess I could have tried dieting again. I could have started working out more. But I felt so damn hopeless/helpless/LESS! There is nothing to explain what it's like to go through life with the extra weight. And I HATE the jokes about heavier men not having issues, men have just as many insecurities as women. Men don't want to have to go store to store to store shopping for stuff that fits. Men want to be looked at lustfully by strangers too.

    I really hope they get this worked out for you soon. Don't give up. I'm going to follow your blog and keep up with your progress. Because of the stipulation of my winning the contest, I'm afraid to blog and have anything negative be brought up because I'm the surgical center's walking billboard, doing their radio commercials. But I will be commenting my status right along with the other Lappers I've been reading. I'm right here with you.

  2. Dear FB,
    Hang in there! I'm so proud of you for not giving in to the wings and the desire to comfort with food. You've come so far already. I hope and pray that Monday will bring good news for you!
    Keep us posted, we are all rooting for you.
    "Band me Baby!"

  3. Wow, NFC, that is quite a story. Winning your surgery through a radio station? That is very unique. I understand your feelings about that, but I think you are being faced with a matter of perspective. Over the years, you obviously have suffered great heartache because of your weight. Now, I am not very religious at all. But I do believe in God and fate. Your winning a surgery through a radio show, statistically, can only be seen as fate. I say, consider changing your perspective, embrace this fate. Accept the fact that this may be the beginning of a whole new life for you. Not easy, I know. I will follow your story as well.

    Thank you for following, Tessie, I will keep you posted!

  4. Just sending good thoughts your way...hope your approval comes soon.

  5. Hi FB,

    You're handling it all really well. I hope your surgery will be rescheduled soon and you can begin your bandster journey. Sending positive vibes your way.

    Take care.