Thursday, January 7, 2010

It's Mr. Fat Bastard to you

You can pick the reason why I am two weeks away from undergoing gastric band surgery.

Love of food? Yes.
A history of failing to moderate any vice-like substance? Sure.
Use of food to accommodate other emotional needs or insecurities? If you insist.

I have always been a fat bastard. The name fits much like Ray Liota’s description of his friends in Martin Scorsese’s Goodfellas. “You know, we always called each other good fellas. Like you said to somebody, you're gonna like this guy. He's all right. He's a good fella.” While in high school, my weight became easier to accept because I played football. If six or seven of us were grazing at a Chinese buffet or chicken wing place, 4,000 calories were easy to justify . . . because we were fat bastards. One guy would steal another guy's chicken wing, and he was a fat bastard. When the wing thief had a handful of fries missing, he'd look up in horror, find a giggling comrade and say "You fat bastard!"

Now, nearing 40 years old and more than 325 pounds, it’s not that funny anymore.

For the past 9 months, I have been going through the surgery process, various medical tests and meeting with a dietitian. I originally started at 361 pounds. I had my pre-op appointment a few days ago, and now I am almost done with the first of two weeks on all liquids and then I'm under the knife.

Generally, the whole process should take 6 months but I had a battle with acid reflux to resolve. I never realized I had a problem, though I sometimes needed an over-the-counter antacid for heartburn, that was when I ate too much, too quick. But, nevertheless, the reflux was picked up during my upper GI test and the surgeon called for an endoscopy to verify there was no damage to esophagus. But, damage there was . . . in the form of ulcers. So after two months on a prescription, the ulcers have healed and now it seems all is clear.

The purpose of this blog is simple. I have taken great comfort in reading about so many other people’s procedures and I feel as though I owe it to the weight loss surgery community to share my story. Maybe my words will be helpful for someone else.

In addition, I am hoping that the phrase said by writer John Dufresne rings true, "We don’t write to be understood, we write to understand." Who knows, maybe an epiphany or two about being a fat bastard will occur.


  1. Great intro. Nice to 'meet' you. I love the Dufresne quote - I often have lightbulb moments in mid-post.

    Looking forward to following your journey,


  2. Oh man, you are going to have to tell me your name bc I can't call you Fat Bastard! Maybe FB...but those are the initials for Facebook.

    A man commented on my post! I think I might have readers of the male gender but they have never commented! It is a big day on Amy's blog! Thank you so much for the comment and I look forward to following your story and getting a different perspective!

  3. Ooooohhh exciting, a male band blogger! Welcome to our little world, Fat Bastard. Blogging has been so helpful to me (I am 4 months out from surgery). I am sure it will help you too. In the meantime, good luck with the rest of the pre-op diet, and of course your surgery!

  4. You. Fat. bastard. Having made the journey through our college years together and seeing us both growth up (not older but up) I am looking forward to reading your trek in the heart, er, band of darkness . I'm looking forward to hearing about your specks of light of that you encounter along the way.