Well, everyone, I really wanted to post sooner but time has really gotten ahead of me. I have been juggling a lot of day to day stuff, but I am happy to be back. Reflectively speaking, I am happy to say that I have not gained any weight. Why do I say this? The old Fat Bastard would have blamed the busy past few weeks on the gorging of burgers, Philly cheese steaks and pizza on the “who has time to think healthy on a day like this?” frame of mind.
My wife is recovering from a hysterectomy. The surgery went well and she is recovery faster than I thought. But the driving to sports practices, house cleaning and puppy training has fallen on my shoulders. She handled this task well a month ago for my surgery. So, now is my time to shine. Now, with the kids being out of school, everything should be easier to manage.
I have not lost any weight and had my first fill yesterday. But like I said, the victory is that I did not gain. It seems as though I hit a major plateau. It’s like my body is saying, “Hold on you Fat Bastard. You starve me with a pre-op diet of protein shakes for two weeks. You put this strange thing on my stomach. Then you stick to clear liquids for a week. No way, my friend, I’m going to hold every calorie you give me now.”
Why is it a victory? Simply because throughout the last two weeks I have been able to maintain a decent workout schedule and even added lifting weights to the mix. I try to get three lifting and three cardio sessions per week.
My other big victory – I entered and walked in a Memorial Day 5k. In fact, I finished in 43:36 placing first in my age group of walkers. I would have like to have jogged it, and if I did, I would have never placed first in the runners. But, for my first 5K, I am happy. There is another one in July that I am looking forward to. Don’t know yet if I’ll walk or run.
As far as my first fill, I have an AP Large Lap Band that holds 14 ccs of saline. There were 1.5 ccs in there, which I suppose is standard. He explained that generally 1 cc remains in the port and tube. So, yesterday, he added 3 ccs. I asked him if that was somewhat aggressive and he said that it was but that since there was so little saline in there, there was room to play. He said that the next few adjustments will probably be somewhat less aggressive as we will be chasing the ever-elusive Sweet Spot.
It’s hard to tell whether or not I feel much restriction yet. Yesterday, I was limited to liquids and yogurt. Today, I was able to start with a little bit more solid foods. So I will have to keep you posted.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
Men vs Woman in the game of weight loss
Amy W. once commented -
ooh, only 6 more days! That is exciting! Pretty soon you will be six months out and smokin' all us girls in weight loss and we will cuss you for being a man and "having it easy"....hahah...just kidding....kinda :)
For the past few months, this statement has weighed on me. (pun intended)
Don't get me wrong, it's not because I believe she is incorrect. She's not. Every weight-loss effort that my wife and I have made has always ended with me making greater progress. I have seen it first-hand.
Though I stray from mainstream religions, I have a very deep belief in God as well as science. He has given our two genders very different internal wiring systems. That is really the only answer and it is a simple one at that. But in my efforts to examine certain truths about my Fat Bastardness, this truth has been simmering on my back burner for some time.
Until last night. One of my favorite shows is Real Sports on HBO. This show's mission is to profile key players and issues in the sporting world and bring to light many stories that you may never come across as a regular sports fan that just watches for statistics and win/loss records. A recent episode caught up with Kyle Maynard, a former high school and college wrestler missing four items that any wrestler calls essential; arms and legs.
Now, I have been familiar with his story. I wrestled in high school and college and coached the sport for many years. Often, as my kids are all athletes, I keep the show on the DVR if I come across something they might be interested in. This one was a keeper.
But on my second viewing, another aspect became even more apparent to me. Kyle was asked about what advantage he had over his able-bodied opponents. His answer - his mind. His situation, from day one in his life, forced him to ignore his situation and move forward with a vengeance to get what he wanted. The interviewer called it "relentless." I agree. Later, Kyle made the statement that if his life could be done over again, this time with him having arms and legs, he wouldn't. Because his situation (I don't use the word "disability" because he refuses to call himself disabled) has given him the mental tools that he otherwise might not have.
How does this apply to the man vs. woman weight loss factor? My weight roller coaster has always been fueled by the two extremes. If I'm "dieting," I am losing tons of weight. If I'm not, I'm consuming more calories in one meal than most would consume in a week. I subscribed to this because simply because I could have. I had no mental tools that made me appreciate that just because weight drips from me faster then my estrogen-stacked friends, that was no way to operate.
Now, step 2 is to engage this new found realization into habit.
Lastly, on many facets of life, I readily admit that men have it much easier than women. I could not even imagine birthing a child and would probably freak with every monthly visit. The only advantage of being a woman band blogger, from my nonsensical, comedic perspective; you guys get to talk about topics that would get me reported to the good folks at Google. I'm quite certain, none of you would like to hear about any of my grooming methods. Also, you guys can exchange clothing. Sure Andrew and I could ship boxes of clothes from one another, but let's face it - men are too unorganized, too irresponsible and too aloof to make something like that happen.
Have a good week all.
ooh, only 6 more days! That is exciting! Pretty soon you will be six months out and smokin' all us girls in weight loss and we will cuss you for being a man and "having it easy"....hahah...just kidding....kinda :)
For the past few months, this statement has weighed on me. (pun intended)
Don't get me wrong, it's not because I believe she is incorrect. She's not. Every weight-loss effort that my wife and I have made has always ended with me making greater progress. I have seen it first-hand.
Though I stray from mainstream religions, I have a very deep belief in God as well as science. He has given our two genders very different internal wiring systems. That is really the only answer and it is a simple one at that. But in my efforts to examine certain truths about my Fat Bastardness, this truth has been simmering on my back burner for some time.
Until last night. One of my favorite shows is Real Sports on HBO. This show's mission is to profile key players and issues in the sporting world and bring to light many stories that you may never come across as a regular sports fan that just watches for statistics and win/loss records. A recent episode caught up with Kyle Maynard, a former high school and college wrestler missing four items that any wrestler calls essential; arms and legs.
Now, I have been familiar with his story. I wrestled in high school and college and coached the sport for many years. Often, as my kids are all athletes, I keep the show on the DVR if I come across something they might be interested in. This one was a keeper.
But on my second viewing, another aspect became even more apparent to me. Kyle was asked about what advantage he had over his able-bodied opponents. His answer - his mind. His situation, from day one in his life, forced him to ignore his situation and move forward with a vengeance to get what he wanted. The interviewer called it "relentless." I agree. Later, Kyle made the statement that if his life could be done over again, this time with him having arms and legs, he wouldn't. Because his situation (I don't use the word "disability" because he refuses to call himself disabled) has given him the mental tools that he otherwise might not have.
How does this apply to the man vs. woman weight loss factor? My weight roller coaster has always been fueled by the two extremes. If I'm "dieting," I am losing tons of weight. If I'm not, I'm consuming more calories in one meal than most would consume in a week. I subscribed to this because simply because I could have. I had no mental tools that made me appreciate that just because weight drips from me faster then my estrogen-stacked friends, that was no way to operate.
Now, step 2 is to engage this new found realization into habit.
Lastly, on many facets of life, I readily admit that men have it much easier than women. I could not even imagine birthing a child and would probably freak with every monthly visit. The only advantage of being a woman band blogger, from my nonsensical, comedic perspective; you guys get to talk about topics that would get me reported to the good folks at Google. I'm quite certain, none of you would like to hear about any of my grooming methods. Also, you guys can exchange clothing. Sure Andrew and I could ship boxes of clothes from one another, but let's face it - men are too unorganized, too irresponsible and too aloof to make something like that happen.
Have a good week all.
Monday, May 17, 2010
All Liquid Survey Wrap Up and Bandster Hell
Well, the verdict seems to be in.
After reading everyone's post, I have to agree with Gen that there does not seem to be much correlation between the all-liquid diet and speed of recovery.
That said, my doctor would argue that the all-liquid diet is not necessarily geared to that anyway. It's for making a smoother transition to the post-op days of being limited to clear liquids and then now on smashed foods or mushies.
For myself it seems as though that transition was pretty smooth, until a day or two after starting the smashed food phase.
So, this is Bandster Hell. Fabulous.
About two days after starting smashed foods I noticed my appetite beginning to increase and it being harder to push my bowl of mashed potatoes away. I am fine in between meals, but when I do finally eat, I feel like I could eat a house. This weekend I went to Eat and Park with my wife and daughter in between two soccer games. For the rest of the world, Eat and Park is a Denny's or Perkin's-like restaurant with a monster salad bar and sometimes buffet. We caught them on a Sunday morning brunch buffet with lunch and and breakfast items. In no time at all, I had housed about one scrampbled egg, about 3 ozs of mashed potatoes and half a cup of chili. I was satisfied, but I could have tripled it all if I wanted too.
So, until my first fill, it looks like I'll have to depend on the same will power that has nourished my pre-op diet for the past year.
Weight-wise, remember, I began this journey at 361 lbs. Went in for surgery at 309, weighed 281 at my first follow up 5 days after the surgery. The days following my first smashed meal, I actually gained a few pounds and was up to 284. A little disappointed, I knew it was better to simply follow the course laid out by the doc. I did however change my reliance on mashed potatoes. They were the quick meal and I figured adding some extra dry milk would make it protein rich. But, there are still carbs and not necessarily the good ones. So, I am leaving the mashed potatoes for only one meal a day if at all and instead taking bean soups, black bean or lentil, pureeing the solids and eating that. Also, I made a concoction of ricotta cheese, mixed with almond extract, Splenda and some powdered protein mix. This morning I was back to 281. My second follow up is Thursday.
Lastly, I am up to 71 followers. Who would have ever thought I could make so many friends? Great to meet everyone, if I don't follow yet, going through my list of followers to make sure I'm following you is on my To Do list. Give me a few days, I'll catch up.
After reading everyone's post, I have to agree with Gen that there does not seem to be much correlation between the all-liquid diet and speed of recovery.
That said, my doctor would argue that the all-liquid diet is not necessarily geared to that anyway. It's for making a smoother transition to the post-op days of being limited to clear liquids and then now on smashed foods or mushies.
For myself it seems as though that transition was pretty smooth, until a day or two after starting the smashed food phase.
So, this is Bandster Hell. Fabulous.
About two days after starting smashed foods I noticed my appetite beginning to increase and it being harder to push my bowl of mashed potatoes away. I am fine in between meals, but when I do finally eat, I feel like I could eat a house. This weekend I went to Eat and Park with my wife and daughter in between two soccer games. For the rest of the world, Eat and Park is a Denny's or Perkin's-like restaurant with a monster salad bar and sometimes buffet. We caught them on a Sunday morning brunch buffet with lunch and and breakfast items. In no time at all, I had housed about one scrampbled egg, about 3 ozs of mashed potatoes and half a cup of chili. I was satisfied, but I could have tripled it all if I wanted too.
So, until my first fill, it looks like I'll have to depend on the same will power that has nourished my pre-op diet for the past year.
Weight-wise, remember, I began this journey at 361 lbs. Went in for surgery at 309, weighed 281 at my first follow up 5 days after the surgery. The days following my first smashed meal, I actually gained a few pounds and was up to 284. A little disappointed, I knew it was better to simply follow the course laid out by the doc. I did however change my reliance on mashed potatoes. They were the quick meal and I figured adding some extra dry milk would make it protein rich. But, there are still carbs and not necessarily the good ones. So, I am leaving the mashed potatoes for only one meal a day if at all and instead taking bean soups, black bean or lentil, pureeing the solids and eating that. Also, I made a concoction of ricotta cheese, mixed with almond extract, Splenda and some powdered protein mix. This morning I was back to 281. My second follow up is Thursday.
Lastly, I am up to 71 followers. Who would have ever thought I could make so many friends? Great to meet everyone, if I don't follow yet, going through my list of followers to make sure I'm following you is on my To Do list. Give me a few days, I'll catch up.
Monday, May 10, 2010
In defense of the all-liquid pre-op diet
I asked my doctor today about my theory of the all-liquid diet. I estimate that the all-liquid pre-op diet shrinks your liver and with a smaller liver, the doctor does not have shift and root to do what he needs to. Less gas in the abdomen so there is less gas the days following. So I asked if it is a direct correlation between quicker recovery and the all-liquid diet? He responded "that is a possibility" but that the effect is unintended. The smaller liver makes everything go much safer.
So, seeing as how I originally started this blog to help pre-op readers, I am asking that all of you post a comment to this post that answers the questions - A) Did you have a severely limiting pre-op diet? B)On a scale of 1-10, what was the most amount of pain you experienced during your first week of post-op? 3) At what point did you a)quit taking pain meds b)start driving again c)go back to work
Had the doctor have said something like "You're exactly right, I have always known that with such a strict pre-op diet you will certainly recover quicker" I had planned to draft a heavy endorsement in defense of the hellish all-liquid diet and suggest that if their docs will give them the option, to definitely do it. Answering the above questions may really help someone out.
PRE-OP readers- Remember, I am not a doctor, the furthest thing from it. I actually majored in English. I am happy to share my experience with you, but you should certainly consult with your doctor before taking any action on anything this Fat Bastard has to say. Therefore, please do not start an all-liquid diet, or do anything outside of what your doctor instructed before speaking with him/her first.
So, seeing as how I originally started this blog to help pre-op readers, I am asking that all of you post a comment to this post that answers the questions - A) Did you have a severely limiting pre-op diet? B)On a scale of 1-10, what was the most amount of pain you experienced during your first week of post-op? 3) At what point did you a)quit taking pain meds b)start driving again c)go back to work
Had the doctor have said something like "You're exactly right, I have always known that with such a strict pre-op diet you will certainly recover quicker" I had planned to draft a heavy endorsement in defense of the hellish all-liquid diet and suggest that if their docs will give them the option, to definitely do it. Answering the above questions may really help someone out.
PRE-OP readers- Remember, I am not a doctor, the furthest thing from it. I actually majored in English. I am happy to share my experience with you, but you should certainly consult with your doctor before taking any action on anything this Fat Bastard has to say. Therefore, please do not start an all-liquid diet, or do anything outside of what your doctor instructed before speaking with him/her first.
On to smashed foods
I know everybody calls it mushies, the word seems so emasculating - so I'll call it smashed.
I expected to go from clear liquids to full liquids, but the doc said that my progress has been good, I am not soar or in pain. How great is it to not have to eat a fruit-flavored something.
Because of the proximity, I was able to hook up with a friend after my follow up appointment today. Mashed potatoes and broccoli cheese soup, food with texture - nice!
Considering the pain factor, I'm at little to none. I feel the port from time to time, such as sitting forward, but it is not painful. Neither is coughing or laughing which was a bit painful in the first few days.
What is the key to the recovery? Check out the next post, I'm conducting a bit of a survey.
Thank you for the comments everybody.
I expected to go from clear liquids to full liquids, but the doc said that my progress has been good, I am not soar or in pain. How great is it to not have to eat a fruit-flavored something.
Because of the proximity, I was able to hook up with a friend after my follow up appointment today. Mashed potatoes and broccoli cheese soup, food with texture - nice!
Considering the pain factor, I'm at little to none. I feel the port from time to time, such as sitting forward, but it is not painful. Neither is coughing or laughing which was a bit painful in the first few days.
What is the key to the recovery? Check out the next post, I'm conducting a bit of a survey.
Thank you for the comments everybody.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Day 2, what in God's name is that "full" feeling?
So, it's Friday morning. The past day and a half has been very strange. I haven't had solid foods for more than two weeks and have not even had a protein shake since Tuesday, but seriously, the very site of food is repulsing me. I'm supposed to eat 2 oz of jello or popsicle, regular calorie stuff, four times a day. In addition to drinking my water. If I even look at a glass of water I start to feel a 1000 pound watermelon in my abdomen.
But, other than that, I feel really good. The gas is still there and I think that may even be what is causing the full feeling. But there is less and less gas as I walk and walk. Gas X strips help too.
Also, I haven't touched pain meds and I hope to drive tomorrow. I really only could have used them at night while I was trying to sleep. Mainly because I can only spend about ten minutes on my back, so I typically sleep on my sides. When I was in the hospital I woke up about every hour from the pain of trying to shift. Last night, I fell asleep on one side, woke up at about 2:30am to roll over to the other side and then woke up again at 5am to roll over again. Tonight, I'll wish for the best.
Regarding Rosie, I expect her home in about two hours. As for her name, I shared all of your suggestions with the family. But in the end, we are going with a joke that I made when we first met the dog. I kidded that the name should be Tres, you know, Spanish for 3. But we're going to add a Y to make it Tresy. This way our Boston Terrier, Rex, won't get confused.
I would have preferred the name to have been better associated with my surgery. But, if you think about it, the name is much like this blog. Calling a three-legged dog Tres is at best not politically-correct. But that's my brand of humor. In my opinion, you can't really resolve a problem until you have examined it mentally and emotionally. Wouldn't laughing about it be an indicator that one is dealing well with the emotional side? Hence the name, Fat Bastard.
I'll check in again soon.
But, other than that, I feel really good. The gas is still there and I think that may even be what is causing the full feeling. But there is less and less gas as I walk and walk. Gas X strips help too.
Also, I haven't touched pain meds and I hope to drive tomorrow. I really only could have used them at night while I was trying to sleep. Mainly because I can only spend about ten minutes on my back, so I typically sleep on my sides. When I was in the hospital I woke up about every hour from the pain of trying to shift. Last night, I fell asleep on one side, woke up at about 2:30am to roll over to the other side and then woke up again at 5am to roll over again. Tonight, I'll wish for the best.
Regarding Rosie, I expect her home in about two hours. As for her name, I shared all of your suggestions with the family. But in the end, we are going with a joke that I made when we first met the dog. I kidded that the name should be Tres, you know, Spanish for 3. But we're going to add a Y to make it Tresy. This way our Boston Terrier, Rex, won't get confused.
I would have preferred the name to have been better associated with my surgery. But, if you think about it, the name is much like this blog. Calling a three-legged dog Tres is at best not politically-correct. But that's my brand of humor. In my opinion, you can't really resolve a problem until you have examined it mentally and emotionally. Wouldn't laughing about it be an indicator that one is dealing well with the emotional side? Hence the name, Fat Bastard.
I'll check in again soon.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Wow, the grass really is greener . . .
Just a quick line from Blackberry to tell everyone that everything went quite well. Pain is manageable, mostly just gas. Cotton mouth is almost gone and I am not even feeling sluggish anyomore from the anasthesia. Thanks for the great support everyone, and the dog names, too.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Surgery tomorrow and feeling Rosie
I have been thinking for a few days about what to type tonight. Should I mention crossing the Ts and dotting the Is on any work I'm leaving behind at the office? The recording of various movies on the DVR to prep for my few days on the Lay Z Boy? Yes, I told my wife and kids I love them and drafted a list of people my wife needs to call with updates.
But then, on Sunday, something happened. See, a week ago, my sister in law suggested I go meet a black lab at one of our local shelters. She says the dog has a great attitude but is missing a paw. I said "yeah right, I have the time to adopt a new dog." Surgery recovery, daughter in three sports. Time is not an option. I didn't give it another thought.
But as the surgery approached, I began feeling this sense of gratefulness. I have this tremendous opportunity here, afforded to me by work, family and friends. This surgery, if utilized correctly, will greatly improve my life. How in God's name am I going to pay this forward. On Sunday, while at the pinnacle of this dilemma, I get the e-mail from my sister-in-law. A picture of Rosie, the three-legged pooch is the shelter's Facebook dog of the week. 10-months-old, been in a shelter for all but 1 of them. The paw was amputated after it was injured but never healed correctly.
Dilemma solved, she comes home on Friday.
Now, the new dilemma is the name. She does not know her name very well, so we are considering changing it. I am looking for a name that pays tribute to my endeavor tomorrow, any suggestions?
I will update as soon as I'm home on Thursday.
See you on the other side.
But then, on Sunday, something happened. See, a week ago, my sister in law suggested I go meet a black lab at one of our local shelters. She says the dog has a great attitude but is missing a paw. I said "yeah right, I have the time to adopt a new dog." Surgery recovery, daughter in three sports. Time is not an option. I didn't give it another thought.
But as the surgery approached, I began feeling this sense of gratefulness. I have this tremendous opportunity here, afforded to me by work, family and friends. This surgery, if utilized correctly, will greatly improve my life. How in God's name am I going to pay this forward. On Sunday, while at the pinnacle of this dilemma, I get the e-mail from my sister-in-law. A picture of Rosie, the three-legged pooch is the shelter's Facebook dog of the week. 10-months-old, been in a shelter for all but 1 of them. The paw was amputated after it was injured but never healed correctly.
Dilemma solved, she comes home on Friday.
Now, the new dilemma is the name. She does not know her name very well, so we are considering changing it. I am looking for a name that pays tribute to my endeavor tomorrow, any suggestions?
I will update as soon as I'm home on Thursday.
See you on the other side.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Just shy of half way
Thank you everybody for the great comments.
I am one week in, as today is Day 7. After counting the days on a calendar, I suppose I could have waited a day to get started because there will actually be 15 days of all-liquids before May 5. But one day is nothing. I was just eager to move forward.
This weekend I traveled with my daughter to a soccer tournament in Ohio. My wife was flexible enough to help me determine, which will be more painful, staying at home where I will be less busy and more tempted by food or to go out of town. Had the weather had been any good I may have stayed home, so I can depend on grass cutting to keep me busy. But when I saw the weather forecast - I began to pack my bag.
Friday night through Sunday morning I was fine. I didn't even balk at explaining my surgery to the parents of other players who would often eat together for meals at the hotel. At first, I was concerned that my daughter (16 years old) may get embarassed. I have learned that anything that can be seen as a topic of conversation can cause undue embarassment to a female teen, but for the most part, she is not like that.
But then, there was 10:30 am Sunday morning. After the last game of the weekend. We were at Bob Evans, the two of us and two other parent-daughter combos. The worst part of a brunch is you don't know what to eat, breakfast or lunch foods. The best part, at least if you're not approaching a surgery date, is that if you just played a weekend of soccer, you can order both. AND . . . they did.
Chicken tenders and sunny-side-up eggs. Cheese sticks and bacon. These are a few of my favorite things.
But what made my abdomen do a flip, cinnamon cream pancakes. Has anyone been there recently? I had not, but I saw the picture on the menu and said wow. Then someone had to order them. Right? They just had to do it.
So, somewhere along vacation this summer. I'm stopping at Bob Evans. It may even be for just one bite and then throw the plate away. I'll chew 50 times and not drink anything 2 hours before or after I eat, but doggoneit, I'm gonna have a bite of those.
But for now - Muscle Milk Light, one scoop of chocolate and one scoop of banana. Mmmnn!
I am one week in, as today is Day 7. After counting the days on a calendar, I suppose I could have waited a day to get started because there will actually be 15 days of all-liquids before May 5. But one day is nothing. I was just eager to move forward.
This weekend I traveled with my daughter to a soccer tournament in Ohio. My wife was flexible enough to help me determine, which will be more painful, staying at home where I will be less busy and more tempted by food or to go out of town. Had the weather had been any good I may have stayed home, so I can depend on grass cutting to keep me busy. But when I saw the weather forecast - I began to pack my bag.
Friday night through Sunday morning I was fine. I didn't even balk at explaining my surgery to the parents of other players who would often eat together for meals at the hotel. At first, I was concerned that my daughter (16 years old) may get embarassed. I have learned that anything that can be seen as a topic of conversation can cause undue embarassment to a female teen, but for the most part, she is not like that.
But then, there was 10:30 am Sunday morning. After the last game of the weekend. We were at Bob Evans, the two of us and two other parent-daughter combos. The worst part of a brunch is you don't know what to eat, breakfast or lunch foods. The best part, at least if you're not approaching a surgery date, is that if you just played a weekend of soccer, you can order both. AND . . . they did.
Chicken tenders and sunny-side-up eggs. Cheese sticks and bacon. These are a few of my favorite things.
But what made my abdomen do a flip, cinnamon cream pancakes. Has anyone been there recently? I had not, but I saw the picture on the menu and said wow. Then someone had to order them. Right? They just had to do it.
So, somewhere along vacation this summer. I'm stopping at Bob Evans. It may even be for just one bite and then throw the plate away. I'll chew 50 times and not drink anything 2 hours before or after I eat, but doggoneit, I'm gonna have a bite of those.
But for now - Muscle Milk Light, one scoop of chocolate and one scoop of banana. Mmmnn!
Thursday, April 22, 2010
All liquids, Day 3
It's all in my head. It's all in my head.
If I keep repeating it, will I eventually believe it?
Truth be told, it has not been so bad. You're never very full, but so long as you don't go more than 5 hours in between shakes, you're never really starving either.
Of course, reasoning like that does nothing for you when you are preparing your kids'meals, smelling the smells and stirring the pots. Test in self discipline - PASSED.
May 5 can't come soon enough.
Everyone, thank you for all the comments on my last post. Addiction sucks huh?
If I keep repeating it, will I eventually believe it?
Truth be told, it has not been so bad. You're never very full, but so long as you don't go more than 5 hours in between shakes, you're never really starving either.
Of course, reasoning like that does nothing for you when you are preparing your kids'meals, smelling the smells and stirring the pots. Test in self discipline - PASSED.
May 5 can't come soon enough.
Everyone, thank you for all the comments on my last post. Addiction sucks huh?
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Addictive Personality?
Topic: Addictive personality; real concern or simple excuse?
Here is the background story. As I mentioned before, this past weekend was a work event I have been planning for the past few months. Things were hectic, though it all ended well. In the morning, we served doughnuts to a staff of volunteers and there they were. Chocolate or glazed covered discs of fried dough. I probably could have eaten one, even two, without much harm, but it was nerves that drove the desire at all. The event was getting to the point where it was going to start running itself and I was crazy. I stepped out of the area and found a co-worker smoking a cigarette. Now, I chewed snuff for years and quit about seven months ago for the surgery, but cigarettes I could pick up and put down easily. So, I enjoyed a smoke with my colleague and found that it calmed me, allowed me to think a bit more clearly.
The following Sunday, my brother-in-law and my sons are in the car together. Somehow the discussion of alcohol began between my brother-in-law and I. I am not much of a drinker now, but don't ask me to recall too many Friday or Saturday nights from my college years. My 13-year-old kidded, "I enjoy a cold beer every once-in-a-while too."
This child and I, probably more so than my other two kids, have more in common when it comes to personality traits. Very instinctive, very impatient and very need-it-now. Knowing that he has probably already been in social situations where he was offered alcohol, I tell him he should wait even longer past 21 to try alcohol because he and I have the same "addictive personality."
Mind you, the same personality that would have driven me to eat four or five doughnuts the morning before.
Sure, it's a real concern. But it is it too simple to classify every over-indulgent act an example of an addictive personality? And remember, there is not a single court room that allows for the "addictive personality plea" in cases involving drugs, alcohol or even gambling. Though, addiction treatment is often part of the sentencing process.
Whatever the case may be, I wish they made a pill for it.
Here is the background story. As I mentioned before, this past weekend was a work event I have been planning for the past few months. Things were hectic, though it all ended well. In the morning, we served doughnuts to a staff of volunteers and there they were. Chocolate or glazed covered discs of fried dough. I probably could have eaten one, even two, without much harm, but it was nerves that drove the desire at all. The event was getting to the point where it was going to start running itself and I was crazy. I stepped out of the area and found a co-worker smoking a cigarette. Now, I chewed snuff for years and quit about seven months ago for the surgery, but cigarettes I could pick up and put down easily. So, I enjoyed a smoke with my colleague and found that it calmed me, allowed me to think a bit more clearly.
The following Sunday, my brother-in-law and my sons are in the car together. Somehow the discussion of alcohol began between my brother-in-law and I. I am not much of a drinker now, but don't ask me to recall too many Friday or Saturday nights from my college years. My 13-year-old kidded, "I enjoy a cold beer every once-in-a-while too."
This child and I, probably more so than my other two kids, have more in common when it comes to personality traits. Very instinctive, very impatient and very need-it-now. Knowing that he has probably already been in social situations where he was offered alcohol, I tell him he should wait even longer past 21 to try alcohol because he and I have the same "addictive personality."
Mind you, the same personality that would have driven me to eat four or five doughnuts the morning before.
Sure, it's a real concern. But it is it too simple to classify every over-indulgent act an example of an addictive personality? And remember, there is not a single court room that allows for the "addictive personality plea" in cases involving drugs, alcohol or even gambling. Though, addiction treatment is often part of the sentencing process.
Whatever the case may be, I wish they made a pill for it.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Never fear, Fat Bastard is STILL here.
Two weeks since my last post, sorry for my absence friends.
But I have not been without epiphanies or reality checks. The first one directly involves my two week hiatus in posts.
It is funny how old habits don't die very easy. I have seen a glimpse of the horrible habits that have gotten me into this mess. Since the stamp of approval from my insurance company, the 40 inches of snow that has plagued the Northeast has melted to show the list of Spring chores around the house. My daughter is playing on two club soccer teams and her high school track team. An ambitious work project has eased its way outside of the typical 40-hour work week. And, the brake line in my Griswold-like mini-van has collapsed and will be in the shop until Wednesday, when I am scheduled to have jury duty. Oops, don't forget Easter shopping and cooking.
And what does all that mean? When was the last time this fat bastard has seen a treadmill? Food intake has been more than it should be. Don't get me wrong, I haven't fallen completely off the wagon, but the horse pulling the wagon has begun to slow.
Habits don't change easily, do they? The funny part is, I believe that if I checked, I would find a direct correlation between how much I post on this blog and how often I work out. Thanks for being there.
At any rate, my gym bag is in the car. Time to whip that pony back on course.
I hope everyone had a nice holiday.
But I have not been without epiphanies or reality checks. The first one directly involves my two week hiatus in posts.
It is funny how old habits don't die very easy. I have seen a glimpse of the horrible habits that have gotten me into this mess. Since the stamp of approval from my insurance company, the 40 inches of snow that has plagued the Northeast has melted to show the list of Spring chores around the house. My daughter is playing on two club soccer teams and her high school track team. An ambitious work project has eased its way outside of the typical 40-hour work week. And, the brake line in my Griswold-like mini-van has collapsed and will be in the shop until Wednesday, when I am scheduled to have jury duty. Oops, don't forget Easter shopping and cooking.
And what does all that mean? When was the last time this fat bastard has seen a treadmill? Food intake has been more than it should be. Don't get me wrong, I haven't fallen completely off the wagon, but the horse pulling the wagon has begun to slow.
Habits don't change easily, do they? The funny part is, I believe that if I checked, I would find a direct correlation between how much I post on this blog and how often I work out. Thanks for being there.
At any rate, my gym bag is in the car. Time to whip that pony back on course.
I hope everyone had a nice holiday.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Everyone, May 5 it is!
Funny, isn't it?
Not a half hour from clicking publish, my cell phone rings with a Pittsburgh area code. My mind began developing a flattering and unique way to begin developing four-letter words.
But, this Wednesday was never in the cards. You can unclog your ears Dash, the profanity is for another day. My surgeon's schedule was very flexible because he is new to this office and there is not yet a flurry of people that have gone a full six months of pre-op diet, nutrition ed, etc. Turns out, that just means less access to the OR for him. He only has every other Wednesday.
Work commitments on my end made May 5 the first available. So, fine, it will be a spring band. Sure, I would have loved it to happen now. But I am more excited to have the date, etched in my Blackberry.
So, six weeks, I can do anything for six weeks. So I get to spend more time consider the psychological aspects of all this and continuing read more blogs.
Not a half hour from clicking publish, my cell phone rings with a Pittsburgh area code. My mind began developing a flattering and unique way to begin developing four-letter words.
But, this Wednesday was never in the cards. You can unclog your ears Dash, the profanity is for another day. My surgeon's schedule was very flexible because he is new to this office and there is not yet a flurry of people that have gone a full six months of pre-op diet, nutrition ed, etc. Turns out, that just means less access to the OR for him. He only has every other Wednesday.
Work commitments on my end made May 5 the first available. So, fine, it will be a spring band. Sure, I would have loved it to happen now. But I am more excited to have the date, etched in my Blackberry.
So, six weeks, I can do anything for six weeks. So I get to spend more time consider the psychological aspects of all this and continuing read more blogs.
"Food . . it's a tough give up."
- Rodney Dangerfield, Easy Money, 1983
With my cut off day approaching too soon, and my insurance company not yet offering the proverbial "thumbs up," I have returned to solid foods. Wed, March 24 was the last possible date for surgery, if it was going to occur prior to a major event I am planning for work on April 10. If the surgery occurred after this Wednesday, I risk not being 100% on the day of the event and the days leading up to it. I was a little bummed at first, but I must remember to think with grand vision and not be so fixated on the right now. It is more important that I have the surgery all together, not that it occur prior to this event or that. I had some big plans this spring and summer, such as tearing up local bike paths with my son and running a 5K or two. Not that they still can't happen, but it would have been more fun had the surgery occurred yesterday, so to have enjoyed those things after the first few weeks of sudden weight loss. It would have been nice if it would have gone that way, but BIG PICTURE my impatient, needy, childish alter-ego, BIG PICTURE.
Will the irony be, now that I have been on solids since Saturday (I figured if I was going into surgery on Wednesday, I would have known by Saturday) that they will call today and say "We are pleased to tell you that your insurance paperwork has been approved and we understand that you have been on all liquids since the last week of February, is Wednesday good for you?" I believe DASH is in Australia, right? She'll be able to hear the profanity down there.
Keeping the faith.
With my cut off day approaching too soon, and my insurance company not yet offering the proverbial "thumbs up," I have returned to solid foods. Wed, March 24 was the last possible date for surgery, if it was going to occur prior to a major event I am planning for work on April 10. If the surgery occurred after this Wednesday, I risk not being 100% on the day of the event and the days leading up to it. I was a little bummed at first, but I must remember to think with grand vision and not be so fixated on the right now. It is more important that I have the surgery all together, not that it occur prior to this event or that. I had some big plans this spring and summer, such as tearing up local bike paths with my son and running a 5K or two. Not that they still can't happen, but it would have been more fun had the surgery occurred yesterday, so to have enjoyed those things after the first few weeks of sudden weight loss. It would have been nice if it would have gone that way, but BIG PICTURE my impatient, needy, childish alter-ego, BIG PICTURE.
Will the irony be, now that I have been on solids since Saturday (I figured if I was going into surgery on Wednesday, I would have known by Saturday) that they will call today and say "We are pleased to tell you that your insurance paperwork has been approved and we understand that you have been on all liquids since the last week of February, is Wednesday good for you?" I believe DASH is in Australia, right? She'll be able to hear the profanity down there.
Keeping the faith.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Special thank you to Manda Panda for nominating me for a Sunshine Blogger Award. I do really struggle to name 12 of my favorite blogs, just like the Beautiful Blogger Award a few weeks ago.
Instead, I'll encourage you to check out her blog. She is on a bit of rough spot as of last week. Send her good vibes.
No date yet
I was hoping otherwise, but no date yet.
Not all bad news though, I confirmed that the paperwork was sent and is going through the channels. In my dealings with the good people at UPMC, I am confident that they would not have submitted an incomplete packet. So as the phrase goes - any day now.
Regarding the all liquid diet, today day 17. If I had known it was going to be this long, I would have started a few days later. But I suppose it was a gamble anyway.
Funny how our minds can be our strongest ally or worst enemy. For the past 2.5 weeks, I have been a rock of discipline. Didn't feel an ounce of temptation. But for the past two days, on one hand I have been struggling to get all my shakes in - just not hungry at all. On the other hand, head hunger is kicking my ass.
Maybe it's because before my last surgery date, when it was postponed, the surgeon said "At this point, your liver has shrunk and if you ate a low fat diet for a week, we would be okay." Maybe it's because I have read on a few blogs of people that cheated and their surgeon never knew. Maybe it is because I just made a lasagna for my family (I fancy myself a bit of an amateur culinary specialist and lasagna is one of my solids), but foods are speaking out to me. More like blaring at me.
The positive side is that I weighed in a 296.5 this morning. I started this journey at 361. My wife quipped this morning that I could stay on all liquids for a month longer and not need the surgery. Yeah right, c'mon, I'm a Fat Bastard. I'd be 380 two months later.
Have a good week everyone.
Not all bad news though, I confirmed that the paperwork was sent and is going through the channels. In my dealings with the good people at UPMC, I am confident that they would not have submitted an incomplete packet. So as the phrase goes - any day now.
Regarding the all liquid diet, today day 17. If I had known it was going to be this long, I would have started a few days later. But I suppose it was a gamble anyway.
Funny how our minds can be our strongest ally or worst enemy. For the past 2.5 weeks, I have been a rock of discipline. Didn't feel an ounce of temptation. But for the past two days, on one hand I have been struggling to get all my shakes in - just not hungry at all. On the other hand, head hunger is kicking my ass.
Maybe it's because before my last surgery date, when it was postponed, the surgeon said "At this point, your liver has shrunk and if you ate a low fat diet for a week, we would be okay." Maybe it's because I have read on a few blogs of people that cheated and their surgeon never knew. Maybe it is because I just made a lasagna for my family (I fancy myself a bit of an amateur culinary specialist and lasagna is one of my solids), but foods are speaking out to me. More like blaring at me.
The positive side is that I weighed in a 296.5 this morning. I started this journey at 361. My wife quipped this morning that I could stay on all liquids for a month longer and not need the surgery. Yeah right, c'mon, I'm a Fat Bastard. I'd be 380 two months later.
Have a good week everyone.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Strange Obsession
Today makes Day 12 on the all-liquid pre-op diet.
You would think being around food at this point would be difficult, but really at this point I'm numb. I've sat in a restaurant twice and prepped dinner for the family a few times. All obligations, but, you wouldn't think I'm going to voluntarily put myself in front of temptation.
But . . . what about one of my favorite shows? Man v. Food? An avid foodie touring the country showcasing a destination's best foods and ending each episode with a restaurant challenge, such as a 10 lb stuffed pizza in an hour, 5 hoagies in 45 minutes or 6 of the hottest wings on the east coast. It's on the Travel Channel - give it a watch.
I appreciate the host's genuine excitement for food and some of the unique foods and restaurants. And oddly, I can sit through six-episodes and feel not an ounce of temptation. Not in comparison to last night, when my family met two other families for dinner. I was fine until my favorite at that restaurant was passed under my nose, shrimp and garlic pizza. That hurt.
To update, I called the surgeon's office Friday. They are hoping to have authorization from my insurance company this week. I have not been fantastic about a blogging midweek, but trust me, when a date is set, you will all know it. For those of you new to my blog. I have put myself on all liquids because my surgeon just transferred to this hospital and supposedly has an open schedule. My hopes are that when the scheduler says "we can pick a date two weeks from now if you'll start all liquids today" and I'll say "Guess what I've been up to." Hope it pays off.
Someone asked me about my preference for protein supplements. My favorite is actually Myoplex Lite, the individual packets of powder make it easy. But it mixes with skim milk making the whole shake about 280 calories. My surgeon's office says no more than 800 calories a day. Muscle Milk Light on the other hand mixes with water allowing four shakes all just under 800 calories.
Have a good week all.
You would think being around food at this point would be difficult, but really at this point I'm numb. I've sat in a restaurant twice and prepped dinner for the family a few times. All obligations, but, you wouldn't think I'm going to voluntarily put myself in front of temptation.
But . . . what about one of my favorite shows? Man v. Food? An avid foodie touring the country showcasing a destination's best foods and ending each episode with a restaurant challenge, such as a 10 lb stuffed pizza in an hour, 5 hoagies in 45 minutes or 6 of the hottest wings on the east coast. It's on the Travel Channel - give it a watch.
I appreciate the host's genuine excitement for food and some of the unique foods and restaurants. And oddly, I can sit through six-episodes and feel not an ounce of temptation. Not in comparison to last night, when my family met two other families for dinner. I was fine until my favorite at that restaurant was passed under my nose, shrimp and garlic pizza. That hurt.
To update, I called the surgeon's office Friday. They are hoping to have authorization from my insurance company this week. I have not been fantastic about a blogging midweek, but trust me, when a date is set, you will all know it. For those of you new to my blog. I have put myself on all liquids because my surgeon just transferred to this hospital and supposedly has an open schedule. My hopes are that when the scheduler says "we can pick a date two weeks from now if you'll start all liquids today" and I'll say "Guess what I've been up to." Hope it pays off.
Someone asked me about my preference for protein supplements. My favorite is actually Myoplex Lite, the individual packets of powder make it easy. But it mixes with skim milk making the whole shake about 280 calories. My surgeon's office says no more than 800 calories a day. Muscle Milk Light on the other hand mixes with water allowing four shakes all just under 800 calories.
Have a good week all.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Did I eat all my lima beans?
So there I am at a work-related dinner banquet. All you can eat buffet, prime rib, pasta, potatoes and the western Pennsylvania favorite - pork tenderloin and sauerkraut. If I wasn't in the middle of this, yeah, I would have devoured two-pounds of the prime rib.
My surgeon's office allows 2 cups of raw vegetables a day if I choose, "to make it more enjoyable." I haven't had any yet as I don't believe they really would have made a difference, let's face it, this 2 weeks on all liquids is meant to be endured - not tolerated and certainly not enjoyed.
But, at a head table, skipping the meal was not a choice. But I prepared for this, I was ready. I took three rigatoni noodles, one slice of pork and lots of kraut and two tongs of lettuce and cucumbers - no dressing. At my seat, I jumped back and forth from nursing on a lettuce leaf, moving a noodle around my plate to spread the sauce around to appear the serving was much larger and cutting the pork into tiny pieces and hiding them in the mound of kraut. No one seemed to notice.
That is, until one of the caterers came around to clear tables. She took my plate, began to turn around. But apparently I wasn't as slick as I thought. She turned around again and asked "Was everything okay?"
I wanted to say "thanks lady, it was bad enough I had to sit here and watch everyone eat all night, and bad enough that I had to feel every fiber of meat on my knife and fork, but do you have to call me out?" But, I suppose I should be happy that she cared enough about her work to make certain that nothing was wrong. How many people does she deal with that have been consuming nothing but protein shakes, broth and jello for five days? So I said what I should. I looked puzzled as to why she would be asking and said "Everything was fantastic, thank you. I just took too much, my eyes were larger then my belly."
I'm only a few days from attending my last meeting and I really hope putting myself on the pre-surgery diet early pays off.
Have a good week everyone.
My surgeon's office allows 2 cups of raw vegetables a day if I choose, "to make it more enjoyable." I haven't had any yet as I don't believe they really would have made a difference, let's face it, this 2 weeks on all liquids is meant to be endured - not tolerated and certainly not enjoyed.
But, at a head table, skipping the meal was not a choice. But I prepared for this, I was ready. I took three rigatoni noodles, one slice of pork and lots of kraut and two tongs of lettuce and cucumbers - no dressing. At my seat, I jumped back and forth from nursing on a lettuce leaf, moving a noodle around my plate to spread the sauce around to appear the serving was much larger and cutting the pork into tiny pieces and hiding them in the mound of kraut. No one seemed to notice.
That is, until one of the caterers came around to clear tables. She took my plate, began to turn around. But apparently I wasn't as slick as I thought. She turned around again and asked "Was everything okay?"
I wanted to say "thanks lady, it was bad enough I had to sit here and watch everyone eat all night, and bad enough that I had to feel every fiber of meat on my knife and fork, but do you have to call me out?" But, I suppose I should be happy that she cared enough about her work to make certain that nothing was wrong. How many people does she deal with that have been consuming nothing but protein shakes, broth and jello for five days? So I said what I should. I looked puzzled as to why she would be asking and said "Everything was fantastic, thank you. I just took too much, my eyes were larger then my belly."
I'm only a few days from attending my last meeting and I really hope putting myself on the pre-surgery diet early pays off.
Have a good week everyone.
A big apology to LDswims
LDswims has also nominated me for a Beautiful Blogger Award and I owe her a big apology for not catching that before posting a few days ago. What is most silly about it is that she and I are both on pre-surgery diets and could probably swap many stories. Her last blog describes the pain and anguish of running into a package of Thin-Mints. I've put a few of those away I assure you.
Admittedly, I am struggling to find the time to post new info and read up on everyone's blogs. On top of which, I still do not have all the ins and outs of making certain that I am a follower on everyone's blog who is listed as a follower of mine. No offense intended.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
And to think, my high school guidance counselor questioned what my contribution to society will be.
Tessie and TracyZ have nominated me for a Beautiful Blogger Award. I'm flattered, thanks guys.
Now, I am supposed to:
- Thank the person who nominated you for this award.
- Copy the award and place it in your blog.
- Link the person who nominated you for this award.
- Tell us 7 interesting things about you.
- Nominate 7 bloggers.
- Post the links to the 7 bloggers you nominate.
Seven interesting things about me-
1) I have a talent that is somewhat counter productive to weight loss but fun nonetheless. Because movies and food are probably my most favorite ways to spend free time, I've developed an ability to pair the best food with any movie. For instance, using some of my favorite movies Tommy Boy = Fettucine alfredo with shrimp and chicken. South Park Bigger, Larger and Uncut = Chinese food. The Breakfast Club = Sausage Hoagie with peppers and onions. Rocky = chicken wings.
2) I lost both of my parents (mother had breast cancer, father had an anuerism) before I turned 25. That which doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger.
3) Despite conventional thought, I love discussing politics and religion. If these topics frighten you, your core beliefs on these topics are not yet strong enough to be tested.
4) I drive a mini-van. Though I don't feel like less of a man because of my vehicle, I do sometimes consider how I would look in a house dress. They look so comfortable.
5) If I could change the course of life I would be performing stand-up comedy. I have no regrets, I love my life and am very fulfilled. I just enjoy comedy.
6) I'm horrible at ping pong, but can play a decent game of tennis for a Fat Bastard.
7) I cry at the end of most movies.
I'm sorry everyone, I simply cannot choose seven bloggers. See those head shots to the right? They are my banded blog friends and I have a hard time ranking them. Sorry.
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